We are almost in the heart of the holiday season! While the holidays are supposed to be a time of
joy, goodwill, doing good in general, and feeling wonderful, we know this seldom seems to
happen. All too often we end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed. One way of turning this
around is to set boundaries. Here we will discuss a few types of boundaries that you may set for
your own sanity, and that of others around you, as you are a role model. And remember, this is a
form of self-care (and what doctor wouldn’t recommend that you take care of yourself, especially
during the holidays)!

Boundaries with Food


Come on – it’s the holidays and most of us can afford to indulge at least a little bit! (Those with
food sensitivities – please keep yourselves safe.) One useful tip to keep from indulging too much
is to stop eating when full. I usually visit a friend for Thanksgiving and she serves a charcuterie
board before dinner. I can’t seem to say no. By the time the main meal is served, I’m already
stuffed. That I do NOT recommend. (I’ll try harder this year!) Focus more on eating whole, real
foods (think protein and veggies, especially non-starchy ones), and lay low on the sweets and
other appetizers, cookies, brownies, etc. that are usually in abundance. A small taste is usually
enough! Or focus on fresh fruit and veggies as an appetizer. As to non-alcoholic beverages being
served, remember not to indulge in sugary drinks. In fact, water is a wonderful and healthy
beverage to consume. While food symbolizes celebrations and even relationships, think about
your health while still enjoying the food. And don’t forget to think ahead about how you feel
after a huge meal and how long it takes you to feel okay or even hungry again.

Boundaries with Alcohol


Assuming you do not have issues with drinking alcoholic beverages (and if you do, please stay
away from them and people serving them completely – it’s safer and healthier for you), perhaps
you can set a limit on the number of alcoholic drinks you’re going to allow yourself. Think about
whether you have to drive on a holiday. To be healthy is also to be safe. Some people rotate

alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic ones. There should be someone there who is not drinking
who can give you a ride home (but this is not an excuse to drink to excess).

Boundaries with Toxic Family Members


Many of us have family members that we feel obliged to see during the holiday season. Imagine
having a good, healthy family yourself but you had a toxic mother or father. That may mean you
grieve during the holidays, for what you didn’t get that you deserved while growing up, and for
what you actually got that was negative and unhealthy. (I can relate to that perfectly.) Whatever
the scenario, if you see these people during the holidays, it’s a great idea to set boundaries with
them. Perhaps you can come up with some rules for get-togethers, and you should communicate
these boundaries nicely, calmly, yet firmly. Let your family members know you mean business,
or perhaps you can choose not to spend holiday time with them. At the same time, you can
respect other family members’ boundaries (unless they are very unhealthy). You can limit the
amount of time you spend with them, too. Even doctors recommend doing this.

Boundaries for Parents of Young Kids


There’s no doubt that young kids are a joy to have around, but they can also be a handful! Setting
healthy boundaries (food, behavior, etc.) can help everyone feel safe and in control, both
mentally and emotionally. Don’t be afraid to say no! Some signs that healthy boundaries do not
exist are when you feel overwhelmed, resentful, you’re avoiding people and situations, and you
may already feel burned out. Learning how to build positive relationships (that by the way have
healthy boundaries) is a good thing to be doing in general, and especially prior to the holiday
season. Remember that just as you may feel anxious during the holiday season, your kids may
feel the same way. If they seem to be more irritable, more clingy, or are isolating, these may be
signs that your kids need some attention. A few tips are to avoid scheduling yourselves too
tightly during the holidays. You and your kids need time and space to relax and take care of
yourselves. Keep routines going; during the holidays, being out of normal routines may trigger
anxiety in everyone. Try to stay to regular food and sleep routines as much as possible.

Finally, a word about body positivity – especially during the holidays. You can help yourself by
listening to your tummy and trying not to give into the pressure of over-indulging. As we are
under a great deal of such pressure and risking insulting people by not eating their home-made
goodies they bring to share, when you do indulge, be forgiving to and respectful of yourself.
There may be individuals around you who want to shame you for eating, but I implore you to
turn your back on them and love yourself so matter what. You deserve that much self-love.

And always remember: Knowledge is power – take charge of your health!

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